Well here it is… Breast Cancer Awareness month, I’m all for the awareness of breast cancer, regular checking, early diagnosis, happy ending stories, raising money for BC charities, hell I can even stomach some pink stuff, but what f*cks me off me every year is the lack of awareness being made of secondary/metastatic breast cancer, the one you actually die of, the one that 30% of people who have to deal with the primary nightmare, will go on to face.

Tits might be where it all starts, but none of the chat shows, magazine and newspaper articles or fundraising events discusses what happens after it travels beyond the breast, are us MBC ladies (and some men) too scary for all the pink wig and feather boa wearing shenanigans???… Is it really acceptable to only put 7% of the money raised for charities towards metastatic breast cancer research, the one that actually kills you?

From being a part of the online MBC community I am well aware that I am not alone in feeling like I’ve been written off by not just the researchers but by the media too. There are around 35,000 women living with MBC in the UK today, around 11,500 women and 80 men die each year from this incurable disease… not all of us endure a year of hideous treatments and then get to put our lives back together, albeit permanently affected, no, there’s a whole load of us for whom this is a permanent state of affairs, hospitals, scans, needles, pain, hair-loss, nausea, surgeries, fear, loss of mobility, weight gain, weight loss, hot flushes, sight problems, breathing problems, the shits and so much more, then eventually death … Not so pink and fluffy now?

Maybe I sound defeatist, miserable or lacking in hope… well I’m not, defeated I am not, miserable, rarely, and if I didn’t have hope I’d have chucked myself off a tall building years ago.

I’ve been going through this for nearly 11 years, 7 as a MBC lady, I’m very aware that I’m already past my sell-by-date according to statistics… but I’m still here and like the 34,999 other ladies, doing my best to thrive with mets. To enjoy life, spend time with family, impart my wisdom (?) on the youth of my friends as due to breast cancer motherhood was not a path I was to take, to dance, slowly and avoiding the old break-dancing moves, to read, learn, love and be as much of a part of society as possible, but at this time of year the lack of research and media coverage on me, and all the amazing, resilient women like me, has me questioning my relevance, my place in said society, I feel like I’m on the dark side, one of the women we just don’t mention, maybe MBC research could use bald caps, black feather boas and skeleton suits to promote the cause?… just a suggestion.

I’m not generally an angry ranter, a shouter or a jump up and down until somebody takes notice of me, kind of girl but this injustice really makes me sad, then angry, then scared, and then f*cking angry again… We are relevant, important humans, and are not just sitting around hospital waiting rooms waiting to bloody die, we deserve treating fairly, the same coverage during breast cancer awareness month, after all that’s what we have, and better funding, having the same level of care as primary patients, get the same treatment options, same surgical choices and all in the same time frame… We are wives, partners, mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, employees, carers… and I for one am not ready for the scrap heap just yet!!!!

 

https://www.abcdiagnosis.co.uk/

https://www.metavivor.org/

https://www.secondary1st.org.uk/